just my thoughts..

Wow 4 years has really flown by. 4 years ago, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. 4 years! Wow that seems like so long ago, but it also seems like just yesterday. Weird how that works. Now I have to admit, I haven’t been the most responsible diabetic in the whole world…well okay I could be A LOT more responsible. I definitely have been living in the moment, not caring about the future or what I am doing to myself. I haven’t been taking the best care of myself like I should and it has recently come to my attention that I need to get my act together! Do I want to have a kidney failure? No. Do I want to lose my foot? No. Do I want to not be able to have kids? No. Do I want to die? No, again. It’s hard sometimes because I put myself in denial. I say, “Oh, you’re fine, you’re normal”. But the truth is, I’m not normal. And then again, who is? I can’t keep telling myself I’m normal and that I can eat whatever I want and not have to worry about my blood sugars. Or that I can have a soda and drink some juice when I want and not have to worry about giving myself insulin. But the fact that I can remember what it is like to not have to worry about that stuff makes it the hardest thing in the world. Haylee, my sister, has had it since she was 2 ½ so she can’t remember what it was like pre-diabetes. I think that it would have been so much easier if it could have been like this for me. But, that isn’t how it happened and if I can just get over it and deal with it, I feel like it could be some sort of blessing in disguise or something, like it could be a growing experience for me. I don’t know maybe I’m just reading way to deep into it. But, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I was given diabetes as a trial, and it has definitely been that. It has been a long, bumpy road and it is going to continue to be. So I can be depressed about it and complain, be in denial and wish I led a different life, or, I can be positive, not let it bring me down, and lead a great life. I choose the second. What are you gonna choose? I hope you would choose the second. Take it from someone who knows, the first option sucks and it takes you absolutely no where but down and it will ruin your life if you let it. It might be, no, it will be harder to be positive, but it will be totally worth it in the end. So take care of yourself, be responsible, be positive, and just be happy!!

Alyssa(: